2 years is a lifetime

Two years? What? Already? Seriously? Yeah, that's what I was thinking earlier when I looked at my calender and realized that I've been in Bulgaria for two years now. Where does the time go? Well, a few places that time is spent is in school, on long bus or train rides, and the rest of the time at a cafe or in my apartment. It's weird to think back to when I first arrived here. I can barely remember my first impressions. I look back now at my journal entries from two years ago and laugh at how so many things were so strange to me and how I just couldn't understand. Now, I can't imagine things being anyway but how they are. What was so weird is now commonplace. It's nothing but normal for it to take 3 hours to drive 60 miles. I don't know what I'd do if I went to restaurant and ordered a coke and it came to me with ice in the cup. Ice? What's that? How can pizza be pizza without corn, pickles, eggs, and ketchup? And it's not even possible to spend less than 3 hours at a dinner party. And nobody can eat a salad in under 45 minutes. Nobody. I don't know what I'll do when I get home in a few months and I can't just hop on a train to visit a friend for less than 24 hours before taking that train right back to my place. And what's to become of me if I can't get caught in the daily goat crossing?

Sure, it may seem that I'm being facetious...and maybe I am. But then I'm not. These things that for so long irritated me and were the cause of many a head-ache, like having to force myself to make one cup of coffee last 2 hours, have become part of my every day life. I really will miss seeing the goat crossing. I will miss being able to sit at a cafe for hours without having to worry about being kicked out. I will miss the long bus/train rides through the country. I'll miss this relaxed way of doing things. But then again, I sooooo look forward to the rush of American life. And to the "can do" attitude. I yearn for the moment when I say "lets organize.....for....." and the people I talk to say "okay. let's do it," rather than the sceptic and often pessimistic responses that I meet here.

Again, I think back to my first few days in country and barely recognise that girl. These two years have changed who I am. I can't say "jaded", but rather less naive and not as optimistic as I used to be. No, the Peace Corps has not made me pessimistic. But being in another part of the world. Being in a culture that often gives up too easy and thinks the world is against them has hardened be a bit to the world. I see and recognise the changes in me. Some changes I like, others I don't. I know that we all grow and change as people, but there are times that I miss the younger more naive girl that came here two years ago.

Has this job been hard? Absolutely. Do I regret doing it? Never. Will I miss Bulgaria? Yes and No. Is the Peace Corps "the toughest job I'll ever love?" Probably.

Just two more months to go now. And because I forgot to update sooner let me say that the Ethnos Folklore Dance Ensemble (my dancers) and I had a wonderful trip to Utah! The performances were fantastic and everything went off without almost no hitches at all. The kids had a great time, and for me that's all that counts. It was worth all the head-ache of preparation just to take them to America and see their reactions and give them a little piece of America.